Demons amongst us
by Remnants of my Soul
Summary: Set after Ptolemy's gate. If it ended a bit differently.
1. Chapter 1

Everything was set. Two pentacles covered almost whole floor of a small room. The rest of supplies for summoning she borrowed that afternoon were just lying around. She asked for them in her last conversation with Ms. Piper, while saying goodbye and leaving the Council. Kitty checked the pentacles one more time and sit on her bed. Pointlessness of it all suddenly fell upon her. Why is she even doing this? She knows very well what will happen. Nothing. In a sudden burst of anger for her own naivity she quickly grabbed an old t-shirt to clean the floor. She stopped just a few centimeters from the line closest to her. No. She can't do this. She needs the certainity so she can move on with her life. She threw t-shirt on bed and stood into one of pentacles. And she started the summoning.

* * *

I felt a pull and my connection with the Other Place breaking. There was no going around it. I had to go. I just hoped it would be her. I was still not feeling very well, but i'll manage Ptolemy's form for a while. A dark small room. Just basic stuff, bed and part that was supposed to replace kitchen judging by the hotplate. And a girl with surprised eyes. I smiled at her. „I must say, this is a horrible place, i'm surprised you even managed to fit the pentacles in here, it's so small. You live HERE?" She just stood there with her mouth opened. Suddenly, she jumped from her pentacle and wrapped her arms around me. „Bartimaeus, you're okay."

„Well of course i am, i am well known for my ability to survive even the most hopeless situations. But please Kitty, i can't breathe." She let me go and sit on the bed. Probably a bit of weariness from the summonig, she can't be completely okay yet either. „But seriously, how can you live in this den. Aren't you a national hero or something now? Is this how people treat heroes?" She gave me a tired smile.

„How long has it been for you?"

„Ten days." She became a bit agitated. „I'm leaving London tomorrow to see Jakob in Brugges. You remember Jakob?"

„Yeah, the sock boy." She raised her eyebrows. „Let's leave it at that." A sudden silence. „I didn't believe you to be alive." I was sitting next to her, but she wasn't looking at me.

„Then why did you summon me?"

„I'm leaving London tomorrow afternoon. There's nothing for me in here anymore. And i wanted to be sure that's truth. Before i'll start all over. Again."

Well, bummer. How to tell her now that it might not be yet possible to cut all ties. She looked at me. „But i'm glad i know you're fine." She wanted to say something more, but i cut her short. „Before we'll continue with this really nice chit-chat that i'm honestly enjoying, we have to get one topic of the table. So... about Nathaniel," I produced a nervous cough. She seemed to be avoiding this topic, worried to ask but eager to hear what i can say about this, so the cold truth had to be spoken softly to not disturbe her too much "before he dissmissed me and Staff broke, he wanted me to tell you something for him." This was the hard part. How to tell her this without hurting her? So I clapped my hands in prayer and put on a desperate grimace. „But I can't, i feel embaressed even if i just remember it and he's been really annoying lately so just please summon him from the Other place and free me from him. I can't take it anymore, he will drive me insane." . Kitty was just sitting there in shock with her mouth wide open. But that's to be expected when you hear a bad news.

„You wouldn't believe how hard it is to keep him alive amongst all the spirits, it's worse than when everyone was trying to kill him on Earth, and that's saying something, because as we know he rarely has a non-stupid idea."

„What?" Kitty still didn't move.

„Well, okey, not always, but there were more stupid ideas than I can count over those years I knew him. And with all his human pride it should be expected that he won't fit in the Other Place. You remember when you popped up for visit last time and wanted to bring an order to our organized chaos. Well you was almost one of us compared to him. I'm just worried he will find a broom and start sweeping while I'm here and can't keep an eye on him."

„I don't..."

„Oh come on, Kitty, do you want me to get on my knees? Will that be enough of a compensation to get me rid of him?"

„Nathaniel ..." she finally used her newfound control over her mouth, „... is alive?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chaos was all around him. He tried to put at least his thoughts in order, but soon voices started to protest and shout at him to let them be. Some voices seemed almost familiar, but he couldn't say for sure. Then another voice came. _Nathaniel, you need to relax. Stop thinking._ But he couldn't stay still. He didn't understand anything and he felt he was slowly going insane.

* * *

„Summon him the same way as me, just use his birth name."

„But how is it possible?"

„Who knows? No one before us ever tried something like we did. Maybe we really were one and the same when he dismissed me. But do it quickly, i don't know for how long he'll last without me."

* * *

In a few seconds pentacle was no longer empty. He appeared, just the way she saw him last time. Ragged and messy black coat, untucked white shirt with red spot spreading at his side, old boots and every part of visible skin scratched like he was in the wind for too long. He seemed in pain, a little bent, with eyes shut and his right hand clenching his head. Than he realised something was different. Pain retreated into the back of his mind and he opened his eyes. There was his hand and the rest of the body, with wooden floor under his feet. He's alive. His joy was struck with a sudden thought – he drew aside his shirt to see an ugly wound in his side. He touched it, the blood stained his hand but he felt nothing. Sudden familiar voice made him aware that he's not the only person in the room.

„Nathaniel, you're not really bleeding and it's not Halloween yet, so you have no excuse to look like this. Do something about your form, you're scaring Kitty." Nathaniel lifted his head and saw Bartimaeus as Ptolemy lying on the bed. Bartimaeus. He's here with him. Just as always. And than he noticed Kitty staring at him.

„Kitty.." he started, and looked worriedly on her, but after a second of seeing her face he realised that Bartimaeus wasn't very precise. There was not a trace of fear on Kitty's face. But there was enough anger to make him the scared one. It shook him and he took step back only to touch pentacle barrier. Sharp pain ran through his shoulder and that was the first moment he realised he and Kitty were standing in their own pentacles. His mind stopped.

„No..." There was only one way to understand the situation, but he wasn't willing to believe it. He looked at Bartimaeus and Kitty and hoped at least one of them will say something and deny the truth. But Bartimaeus was looking at wall and scratching it's surface and Kitty... Kitty stormed out of her pentacle. Barrier was broken. Nathaniel had no time to react.

„You!" Kitty pushed him angrily with her hands, he lost his balance and fell on his back. She was standing above him, panting, fists clenched and she took as much air inside as she could. „And you too," she looked at Bartimaeus. „I'm angry at both of you. You lied to me. Again."

Bartimaeus decided it was the right time to change topic. „I mark some double standards here. I only got a hug." Kitty looked angrily at him but then a sudden wave of weakness ran through her. She had to take a few steps back to find balance again and not fall. Slowly she sit down on bed. Bartimaeus was already with her, trying to help and support her.

„Just sit down already, you've just summoned two spirits. And in your state, are you crazy or what?"

„I'm fine."

„No, you're not, you need rest and ten days was clearly not enough to heal from your journey. You should let me go now, we'll talk later." She looked at his serious face and than at Nathaniel who was just trying to stand up and was silently waiting for what she'll say as he was still too shook to react in any way. „Okay, that would be probably for the best right now. I really need to eat something."

* * *

When Nathaniel entered his house, the stillness and darkness surrounded him. He could feel in the air that no one came into the house during past ten days. Even his two human servants probably never came again when they found out there's no way for them to get paid. He felt like an intruder in this dead house. Flashes of his conversation with Kitty came to his mind as he was walking to his old workroom.

„ _How long has it been?" Nathaniel shook the momentary indecisiveness of himself and replaced it with cold composure. „It's been 10 days." She sit back on the bed with her tea and cookies. „ Crystal palace is still in quarantine. Nobody wants to come very close to it because of the residual magic energy. I went there once, but with Amulet of course, it was really quiet there, not a very lively place." She sipped her tea. Nathaniel couldn't take her look, so he turned his eyes to the window._

„ _There was no other way."_

„ _We could have find another way." We wouldn't have to deal with this situation, whatever it is, she thought._

„ _It's pointless to talk about it now. All's well that ends well." Kitty took a bite from the cookie and looked at his bloody shirt and the way his eyes distanced himself from her, this place and whole situation. „I guess you are right." They will have to talk about it all, Kitty tought, if this situation is even sustainable, but probably now isn't the best time. They'll do it later. „There was no sign of life from Nouda during past ten days. There were only four more spirits running around London, but they were all caught. Interrim Council took care of it. It consists of representatives from the survived commoners and magicians. So a lot have changed, or at least something. Not for spirits though, i guess._

Everythng in the house was exactly as he left it. Yet everything seemed out of place. Maybe it was just him who didn't belong there anymore.

„ _I'm leaving London. That's why i summoned Bartimaeus in the first place. I'm going to Brugges to stay with Jakob and his family for a while."_

„ _So he survived too."_

„ _Yes. Listen. I wasn't expecting this. You. And i don't know how much energy it would cost me if you stayed in London while i would be gone. What if i summoned you once i get there. Maybe it would be good for you too, not to come back to your old life right now."_

„ _There_ _'s no way i can come back to my old life._ _"_

„ _One more thing you should probably know. Everyone knows about what happened that day. Your name was in all newspapers, and i don't mean your official name. Some people heard it even during our talk in palace and after that ... it seemed like it didn't matter anymore."_

„ _That is true. It doesn't matter."_

There was not much light coming into the office from the lamps on the street. Yet he could see it all pretty good. Pentacles, his desk and cabinet with summonig supplies. He looked at it for a while. Then he opened the cabinet.

„ _I think i should go. I'll stay in my house till ... till it will be okay for me to come to Brugges." Standing at her front door, he looked one last time at her. Her aura was shinning so brigthly her face seemed as young as before and her white hair burning like a crown. He smiled a little for the first time. Kitty forgot to breath. When she looked at him, she didn't see a lot that she could recognize. Resolution, purpose, strength, determination. All of that was gone. All of him that was so similar to her, and what helped her that day since he showed up at the bar and took her to the theatre, wasn't visible anymore. He was just an empty shell. And then she saw that weak smile. She came to him and hugged him. Nathaniel, really surprised, didn't know what to do at first but than wrapped his hands around her and accepted the warmth that radiated from her. „I'm really happy you're here," she said. Nathaniel was glad she couldn't see pain in his eyes at that moment._

A strong pain ran through Nathaniel's body when he opened the cabinet. All the smells of summoning supplies and cold sharpness of silver hit him unprepared. He backed away a little but because he left the doors opened, he could still feel the content of cabinet. He just stood there and let it all come at him. Maybe it will pass in a while. Maybe it's just temporary. But the pain was only getting more uncomfortable. Desperate and angry. Detonation hit the cabinet. Some of it's content ended all around the room, some burned. And instead of cabinet there was just a black shadow on the wall.

* * *

Imagine my utter confusion when i opened my eyes upon materializing and saw an empty pentacle before me. It took me so of guard i didn't even try to touch the barrier. I'm not sure what to think about my future if even pentacles can summon me now. Was it really that long since i last time left Earth? Did some apocalypse occure in the meantime and pentacles took over the world? This planet could really catch a break from uprisings. But no, it was just Nat. We were in the office in his house. For some reason he left his pentacle before i even came and was currently sitting on some chair, hand in his hair(or hair in his hand?) and still in the same lively form i saw him last two times. Technicaly, i could try to kill him, but you know, i couldn't be sure about extent of his new powers. He was just sitting there, deep in thoughts. It was really boring. And rude. So i sent a weak pulse of energy in his direction. He literally fell on the floor and took that chair with him.

„You know, you probably forgot by now, but you summoned me sooooo, hi," and i gave him a wide grin. „I see you didn't managed to change your form to something less hideous so i'll gladly help you. Just think and feel as what you want to look like. We can start with something simple." Egyptian boy was no longer there and instead there was a wery fancy pigmy hippo, with loincloth and all. „If you could do this, it would be an amazing improvement. Right after that we can try if you can make some fire or Detonation. This house needed reconstruction anyway." Then i saw a black shadow on a wall where, if i remembered correctly, was a cabinet. At least last time i've been there. Nathaniel, still on the floor on his elbows, seemed like he was about to burst with anger, but than his face just lost any expression and he collected himself from the floor. I guess he started to get used to the whole floor thing.

„No," he coughed in an attempt to regain his composure, „that's not why i called you."

I didn't like it. He was different. I mean, maybe that's what dying does to you, you loose interest in your hobbies you had in life, like arguing with certain djinni or something. What do i know, maybe it's a universal thing with dead people ressurected as spirits. He didn't look at me, turned towards the table and pretended he had some very important things there.

„I wanted to talk about the Other Place." I changed back to Ptolemy's form. Hippo somehow didn't suited the direction this conversation was heading. „I don't know how it is possible you ended up there with me." Nathaniel was still turned to me with his back. „Indeed. The thing is, i don't feel like going back there." „Well, if Kitty keeps you here, you don't have to." He shrugged at this. Yes, he is dependant on her now. I guess that doesn't really brighten up his mood. „But i do think it would help your essence if you went there once in a while. Although only for a short time."

„And the pain -"

„The pain you're feeling will last. It will be with you for every moment, somewhere in the back of your mind, even though you will be too busy to notice. The only thing that helps, although just for a while, is changing form."

„That won't help me then," he muttered. It was really depresive to even look at him. Even i felt bad for him. But not for too long. I mean, after all, he is wailing here because he became something i've always been. And he acts like it's the end of the world. I must say it offended me a little. He finally turned to me.

„One more thing. How much did i change, Bartimaeus? How obvious it is that i'm a demon?"

Demon. That word again. I took a closer look at him on all planes. „You look like your normal self on all planes, even on the seventh. Well, the first one is different, there you look like you're about to bleed out. And your aura is on a level of a spirit now, but still just a little brighter than Kitty's. Otherwise..."

As i wavered, Nathaniel looked me in the eyes for the first time. „Otherwise?"

„Otherwise you're still the same person you were before."

I tried to convey him my message as best i could. He just averted his eyes again. There was probably some nice dirt on the floor worth contemplating. But i didn't know what else to tell him anymore. He didn't really wanted to listen. „I have an idea Nat. Next time you'll call me, i'll teach you how to actually hit something with detonation without burning down your house." I walked back into the middle of room and stood into my pentacle. „Next time...?" He seemed taken aback, but after a moment he stopped staring at me and finally took his place in the pentacle as well. He was confidently looking at me. He almost fooled me into thinking he's back to his usual self. „Yes, i'll summon you another time." He opened his mouth to dismiss me, but then he froze. „Thank you, Bartimaeus." And with that he spoke dissmisal formula and i left him there all by himself.


	3. Chapter 3

After Nathaniel left, Kitty ate the remaining cookies, packed the rest of summoning supplies to her bag she prepared before and finally went to bed. She was completely exhausted. Two summonings were clearly too much. Before she fell asleep, annoying questions kept reappearing in her mind. What if it will be like this always? What if she won't get any better? And Nathaniel, that could also be a problem. She didn't know how much energy it takes to keep a spirit for a longer time.

* * *

Jakob was waiting for her at the port. He didn't change that much, even though he was a bit taller. He tried to cover his face with a cap, but not as much as three years ago. She saw him from the ship before their landing, but he didn't seem to recognize her even though she waved at him. She knew it wasn't his fault, but it stinged a little. Kitty quickly banished these thoughts. He was looking around at people coming out of ship and noticed her only when she was right next to him.

„Hello, Jakob." Boy was at a loss of words for a few seconds. „Kitty, is that you?" She sighed. At first he just looked nervously but then he hugged her. „What happened to you?"

„It's kind of a long story. But i'll tell you everything, i promise."

* * *

Jakob was living with his twice as old cousin and his wife and little daughter. They were doing their best to make Kitty feel at home from the beginning. They gave her a room in their house, home-cooked dinner and listened to her story. And it worked. Kitty felt accepted and told them everything that happened in past days, except for John Mandrake being alive. The evening ended with their reassurance that she can stay for how long she needs. She didn't talk about Nathaniel coming that day. First she needs to talk about him with Jakob. Tomorrow will be a good day for that. But the part about him being a spirit will be probably best to omit. His reaction will not be very positive even without that.

* * *

„Wait, i don't understand. What do you mean by „I need another room for Mandrake"."

„Weeeell, exactly that."

„Yeah, sure, i have a specific room reserved for people who kidnapped me. In case they decided to see how i'm doing."

„I don't think he'll be very happy to see you either."

* * *

It took her some time to convince him she's serious about this and absolutely trusts a person that kidnapped him few years ago. Jakob promised he won't tell anyone the truth about who John, as they decided to introduce him to his cousin's family, really is, but that was all she achieved and he was looking at her suspiciously since then. Without Jakob's help it was audacious to ask his family if they could also accommodate „her commoner friend from a bar where she worked, who's not sure about his safety till the situation in London will get more clear and needs to be out of there for a while". She was embarrassed to lie to them, but she could find no other way. She tried to emphasize how he has nowhere to go and that it would take only a few weeks till they would be both gone. As expected, they were a bit weary at first. But it was Jakob's Kitty asking after all, so an old bed was found in the attic and equipped with blankets. Jakob didn't say much at any of this.

* * *

Her stay at Hyrnek's seemed like a dream to Kitty, in a way with which scenes from different days played out in front of her eyes, kind of disjointedly, as if they were happening all at once. When she summons Nathaniel, she remembers the blood on his shirt and is glad he changed form. No more boots, blood or damaged skin. He looks the same way as when he walked in that bar just two weeks ago. Only a little bit less authoritative and somehow even more cold. But he's able to play his part in front of Hyrneks. He makes up stories of why it's not safe for him to be in London now, thanks them they'll let him stay for a while and is as charming as a lying politician can. Says he can't eat much, makes up some reason for that too. Sometimes he helps Mrs. Hyrnek with dinner. She reminds him of Mrs. Underwood. And the list of people he's dependant on keeps growing. And days go by. Everything is peaceful. Too peaceful. It feels weird for both of them, it's too big a change from their previous life although the part about secrets is nothing new.

* * *

She can't really say if the situations she remembers happened just ones, or if they keep repeating forever. She's looking in the mirror. Sees her white hair and keeps telling herself she should dye them. Her dinner with Jakob and his family, their talking till night. Reminds her of her own family before the accident. She didn't think much about them for the last three years, and she doesn't really want to start now. Hyrneks talk about their friends and neighbours, weak magicians running the city realizing they can substitute their lack of servants with technology. Which leads to even commoners being able to afford advantages people in London see as exclusively connected to magic. She wonders if it could work the other way around. To make use of spirits redundant. But she doesn't consider if she could do something with that. She doesn't feel strong enough for something like that yet. Maybe later. And Nathaniel. He's sitting in the next room drawing with Hyrnek's daughter. The way he's almost avoiding her, or at least any meaningful conversation. Well she doesn't really know what to talk to him about anyway, so she doesn't seek him out either. There is too much that was left unsaid between them.

* * *

As days became weeks, Kitty was still waiting when her strength will come back. But nothing was changing.

* * *

During the day, Jakob and Hyrneks leave to work and the little girl goes to school, so the two of them stay alone in the house. But Nathaniel and Kitty don't really spend much time together. Their talks often end in collision. So they both try to minimize opportunities to argue. Nathaniel and Jakob also both do what they can to avoid each other.

He goes for walks, anonymous, and watches streets without spirits, children in the parks, people going about their lives. He remembers what it was like to be proud of who you are and live towards something and for something. Back at Glass palace he told himself he'll just take care of Nouda and he'll go back to Kitty and that was his plan, vision which helped him move forward. But now he realizes it was still just him planning something from his position of power, he still believed he was superior and will return unchanged, the same way he was and he was certain in that moment that Kitty would accept him as ... as what? He didn't really had it planned out that much back than. And now it doesn't matter. Things did change. And he's locked out from the world of people now.

* * *

But he starts to notice Kitty also changed from the image of her he had in his mind. She's more melancholic. Sometimes when she sits in the kitchen with Hyrneks after dinner she gets lost in her thoughts even though she has so many people around her. Or maybe it's because of that. She thinks no one can see it and once she realizes she was off she jumps back to conversation with excessive enthusiasm. Or when Mrs. Hyrnek asks them to take down some stuff from attic she wants to get rid of. At first Kitty seems okay. But after taking stairs a few times while carrying not unreasonably heavy stuff she has a slower pace, and she has to stop on a way up. Each time more often. And her expression is cold and stubborn with a question in her eyes. But there's not that determination and certainty. Nathaniel looks for that in her eyes, because that's something he himself would need now. But she can't give him something she doesn't have. She doesn't ask for help and Nathaniel doesn't offer he'll finish it himself. She wouldn't accept that anyway. At least Kitty he remembers wouldn't accept that.

* * *

Nathaniel was sitting alone in his room. View from the small window didn't offer more than a road with houses crammed to each other with occasional rain drop dripping from roof. He was looking at his hand and behind the pain and itching he felt the power. If he wanted, he could make a flame in his hand and watch the sparks. But he didn't do anything. To get rid of these thoughts he decided to go to a backyard garden for a while. It wasn't raining for a few hours but he doubted anyone would be there.

* * *

Kitty and Jakob noticed him at door to the garden before he could turn around and get lost out of their sight. After she shouted his name, Nathaniel sighed and reluctantly came closer to them. „Good thing you're here. Take the bat and play with Jakob. I had enough so i'll just sit here and watch." She shoved a cricket bat into his hands and threw herself on a bench.

Jakob looked at her grumpily. „Please Kitty, tell me what exactly am i being punished for right now so i can avoid it in the future."

„Oh come on, just play already."

„Actually i'm with him on this one," Nathaniel protested.

Getting a conspirator in Nathaniel kind of pissed off Jakob. „Well, it's just for a while, so that can't hurt anyone."

Jakob threw ball while Nathaniel was still looking disgruntled at Kitty, so he only noticed when ball hit his leg. „Hey!"

„Sorry. My bad." To Nathaniel, Jakob didn't really seem to be sorry. He angrily tried to prepare for the next pitch.

„You're not doing it right," Kitty butted in, „change your posture a bit. How do you want to hit the ball like this?"

„I've never played this."

„No really"? Jakob was playing with the ball, tossing it in the air above him.

Kitty showed him how to stand and how to hold the bat and when she was satisfied with the result („Well i guess this will have to work," to quote her exact words) she went to sit again. Jakob pitched and Nathaniel missed. And than again. And again. And once more. _This is ridiculous,_ he thought. _And it seemed that staying inside was bad_. With every new miss, Jakob seemed to be enjoying the game more and more. „I must say, i like playing with you, we should do this more often." Nathaniel just stared at him angrily and shot a glance toward Kitty to save him from this misery. But she appeared absent minded. There was even something defeated about her sitting on that bench. For some reason it made Nathaniel even more angry seeing her like this. „Ready?" Jakob shouted. Nathaniel was prepared. The ball was pitched. And then the bat and ball met. Nathaniel, Jakob and Kitty watched with open mouths the ball flying over their house, over the neighbour's house and than finally breaking the window in the second floor of neigbouhr's neigbour's house. Nathaniel seemed the most shook by it. He left the bat there and with a neutral expression walked away.

Jakob was just annoyed. „I take it back," he turned to Kitty „ i'm not playing with him ever again."

* * *

Jakob decided to leave to one his friend and Nathaniel went for a walk, so Kitty returned back to the house alone. She made herself a tea and sat down in the kitchen. As she was drinking, what happened in the last hour kept occupying her mind. When Jakob asked her, if she wants to play cricket, she didn't realize she would be tired so soon. That was why she asked Nathaniel to play instead of her.

The Other place. That was the reason of her weakness. She closed her eyes and tried to remember what it was like talking to Bartimaeus in the spirit's realm. To her dismay, she realized she can't remember everything. There were only fragments of what she felt like being there. How could this happen? How could she let herself forget? She needs to write down what she still remembers and by writing it down she'll be able to remember even more. She wanted to tell the world about the Other place and about Ptolemy. Yet what was she doing these past few weeks? What was she waiting for? In a second she left her cup on a table and started looking for some paper. Where do they keep them? They must be somewhere. Then she remembered she saw Hyrnek's daughter drawing in the living room last night and quickly started going through a pile of drawings to find some clear paper. Some animal. Another animal. She really liked drawing animals, apparently. Wait, is this supposed to be Jakob or Mr. Hyrnek? Or Mrs. Hyrnek? Is there at least one clear paper on this pile?

Then she saw that drawing. On a first glance it was evident the girl didn't draw it, it was too precise. Kitty could recognize herself, sitting at the table in the kitchen and talking with someone, though the other person was cut out of picture. She seemed happy and somehow not exactly as she remembered herself from the last time she looked in the mirror. But what exactly was different about her?

As she was taking stairs to get to the bathroom, she started thinking about that last pitch. That was the first time she saw something of Nathaniel's new powers. She knew he could change form but now she started thinking what else he could do if he wanted. Does he even know? Is he repressing it all those weeks?

Above the sink in the bathroom the mirror showed her reflexion. She was looking back and forth between the mirror and Nathaniel's drawing. Then she realized what was different. The drawing had no tiredness in her face.

She sighed. What a pair the two of them are. He gained so much strength but refuses to use it. She lost her strength and waits for it to come back. They are both paralyzed, unable to move, unable to live, because they don't accept this right now as a life, but only as an interim before everything gets back to normal. But the thing is there is nowhere to go back.

Kitty looked in the mirror one more time. This is who she is now. A wrinkled face with white hair was staring back at her. And that won't change. There's no point in waiting for her to get better. She won't get any better than this. She will have to work with what she has. Once she realized this, she felt relieved and could breath freely for the first time in weeks. The images of who she was before were crushing her till that point and were numbing her when she compared them to reality. But not anymore. She won't look different and she won't get any stronger than she is now. There was a freedom in knowing this. It meant whatever she wants to do, she can do now. There is no point in waiting. She looked at her reflexion one last time and smiled realizing she will never dye her hair. Then she walked out to find Nathaniel. They need to talk.

* * *

Nathaniel walked the streets in his coat even though he didn't feel cold. Moving wasn't really helping, the same fragments of thoughts kept popping up, but it led nowhere. So he sat down on the first park bench he saw. After a while his shoulders eased and he felt calm again. He made his decision.

When he returned to the house he tried to find Kitty in her room, but she wasn't there. Bit disgruntled he went to his room in the attic and to his surprise he saw her sitting on his bed writing something.

„What are you doing here?" For a second he forgot he was the one looking for her.

„I want to talk to you."

„Actually, i want to talk to you about something as well and i feel like whatever you planned to talk about will be pointless after you'll listen to me so i'll just start. There's no point in me being here. Kitty, I want you to dismiss me."

She couldn't believe her ears.

„No."

„No?"

„Of course not, why would you ask something like that?"

„Well," he said with a dull grin „if you need a reason then for one everyone knows John Mandrake is dead so it's not like i can just go back."

„But you are here. You are alive."

„But at what cost," he murmured.

„At what cost?" Kitty gasped. „Do you even realize how powerful you've become?"

After weeks of silence Nathaniel felt like everything he was bottling up till that point will suddenly come out. „Powerful? You can't be serious. I am a demon now, Kitty. Whoever will want to can summon me and make me use that power for their own plans." Bleak expression appeared on his face. „Even you. Well at least there is not that many people that knew my old me, because most of them are dead. So i guess i am lucky. I should go thank Nouda." He became still out of sudden, too calm. „You know, i really did change that day. I left John Mandrake behind. But now, everything i was, everything i thought i could be once i'd survive that whole thing is gone. I shouldn't be here. Yet you keep me here. How can i come back amongst people and pretend i'm one of them."

„I'm sure you can, you're a magician, pretending and false promises is what they teach you in kindergarden."

„Don't start again. Beside, it's easier to pretend you're above everyone when it is actually true. "

„There was so much wrong with that sentence i don't even know where to start."

„Then dont start, let's end it right here with you dissmising me." He started to realize how frustrating it must have been for Bartimaeus always arguing about his freedom.

Kitty was loosing her patience. „You know, you're completely wrong. You didn't change that much, not completely. You're still self-absorbed and conceited about who you was. Just look around you. You're not the only one who lost a lot. You think i'm anything i was before? Everything is difficult for me these days. "

„Yes, you're right in most of what you're saying. But you're wrong in one thing. I know what it does to you, having me summoned."

„That's not what i meant."

„But it's the truth. You would be better off without me. I'm dependant on you and i'm dragging you down. You're still not fine from your journey to the Other place and i'm only making it worse. And that's my whole point. I shouldn't be here." Nathaniel turned towards the window and looked outside. This will be the last image of this world he'll see. Well it's still an improvement after the Glass palace. Nobody else knows he exists as a spirit now, so no one will ever summon him. He'll stay in the Other place till it finally destroys every human part that's still left in him.

Kitty quietly walked to him and saw his view. „I might have not chosen the best vacation destination, it looks really depressing in here." It was raining again, grey road became black and light brown of houses became even darker. There was no trace of sun above clouds.

Fine, If he wants a clear purpose she will give him just that. A way in which he can continue to be himself, at least for a part.

„I said i wanted to talk to you. I wasn't myself these past few weeks. Because i couldn't accept that this is who i am now. And yes, sometimes i am weaker but not because i keep you here. I'm not gonna be any stronger and that's why i decided. I want to go back to London."

Nathaniel wasn't looking at her and she felt as if he didn't even hear her words. She grabbed his arm and turned him towards her so he would look her in the eyes when she spoke to him. „What i mean to say is you can trust me. I want you to come with me, but not as a spirit. I'm not a politician, and i could use one right now. Come with me to London and help me end slavery of spirits. And i will never order you anything. This is my offer. Do we have a deal?"

Nathaniel's mind froze in disbelief. End slavery of spirits? That's such a stupid idea. Unrealistic. Pointless. That is ... such a Kitty thing to say. Nathaniel couldn't resist, he started laughing, probably for the first time in years. At that moment she was again just as he remembered her, the girl who was in the back of his mind for three years since she saved a life of a boy who betrayed her. There she was, with her blindening aura and eyes brightened the same way as before. And something he didn't feel for last few weeks was beginning to revive in him. Maybe he could stay for a while with her. Maybe it could work. He was soaking up the certainty and determination from her eyes, and he felt her resolve was infecting him as well. Even if they won't achieve her goal, he could stand by her. At least for a while. He looked outside one last time, but quickly averted his sight back to Kitty.

„What exactly would you need from me?"

Kitty dropped his arm and smiled at him. „We will need a place to stay in London."

„Is that my first job?"

„You could call it that."

„Well, in that case i got it covered already. There is one empty house in London i know about."


	4. Chapter 4

Kitty was watching Nathaniel as he was finishing the pentacle. He stood up and with a book in his hand checked everything all over again. Boy seemed satisfied with the result, he closed the book and turned to Kitty, who was sitting on a chair next to bed and was witnessing the whole procedure.

„Too bad your supplies cabinet was destroyed, we could have done this a few days ago."

Nathaniel didn't seem very inclined to answer that, it was more of a mumbling. „Right, really unfortunate, have no idea how that happened." He sit on the bed and supported his head with a hand.

„So, are you sure we're doing this?"

Kitty was almost annoyed. „What are you afraid of? You don't trust him? I mean, you're the last person who has a right to doubt him. You've trusted him with much more."

„Yes, but that was different, we didn't really had a choice back than." There was a slight hesitation with which he spoke next sentance. „And he's still a demon." Kitty looked at him with concern. He kept using that word, that didn't change.

„Maybe, but he had a lot of choices during the whole thing, not to mention when each one of us was in the Other Place." Nathaniel closed his eyes when he remembered the chaos of spirit's realm. With sigh he stood up.

„You're right, i just wanted both of us to be sure about this. So let's do it." He took his place in the pentacle, found the exact page in the book and started with summoning.

* * *

Once again i was being pulled to Earth. There is no time in the Other Place but it couldn't have been long since my last summoning. So i decided for a form of a smoke and yellow eyes glowing from the center. It's classy and it won't take much of my energy. The wind filled the room and lights were dimmed to produce a nicer atmosphere. I opened my eyes prepared to say some flashy monologue in a deep voice. But than i saw that boy in the pentacle again and Kitty sitting on a chair close by. I sighed and change into Ptolemy.

„You know, you people are a bad audience, it's a waste of my talent to even try anything here."

„Hello, Bartimaeus," Kitty gave me a big sincere smile. Interesting. It was kind of suspicious.

„Yeah, i know, you're glad to see me, blah blah blah, but in a minute it will be all just Bartimaeus do this and do that, just as always." I crossed my arms and turned away offended. And than Nat grinned. I wanted to send him flying out of the window for that.

„You really are in a bad shape Bartimaeus, you didn't even check the pentacle." What is he talking about? It was Nathaniel, so i didn't even consider looking for loopholes in his summoning, there was never any, this was what he was good at after all. So i frawned at him but than i started to inspect the pentacle. And i froze in disbelief. I glanced at them, with their wide grins and pretentious expresions and i looked for a sign of a trap. But there was none. I carefully put a foot closer to the barrier, expecting a pain. But instead my foot touched the ground outside of the pentacle, and all that without Nathaniel putting so much as a hair out of his. I probably looked really stupid. But the situation didn't make sense at all.

„I don't understand." Kitty was still smiling at me. „This room and this pentacle is yours and only yours. You can come in and out of the Other Place whenever you want, and without any tasks or conditions."

Nathaniel coughed. „Although it would be nice if you could not hurt anyone in the process."

Kitty growled at him. „And till this pentacle exists, nobody else can summon you. This is our gift for you. For everything."

Even Nathaniel gave a cautious smile in my direction. I didn't know what to say.

Maybe i should really kill somebody from time to time, these two idiots are getting too soft with that whole trust thing.

* * *

After that i lived my life between the Other place and London. I was coming to their house unexpectedly, sometimes few days in a row, other time i didn't show up for two weeks. Can't appear too predictable. But i must admit there was something nice about this new life.

Although Nat was still no fun. Once i came to him in Kitty's form while he was in his office and he didn't even look up.

„Bartimaeus,what do you think you're doing. You realize i know it's you, i can see you on the seventh plane and i can't say i like what i see."

„Stop talking, Nathaniel. I don't want to hear anything about my seventh plane from you with your human catastrophy on every plane."

When Kitty came back to London, a last will of John Mandrake was found. Apparently signed on the day of Mandrake's death, everything he owned was supposed to belong to Kathleen Jones, including the house. Me and Kitty occupied two free rooms on the third floor, the rest of the house stayed the way i remembered.

Kitty contacted Mrs. Piper and managed some kind of an agreement. She wasn't really part of the Council, but she could attend the meetings and have her own suggestions. She had her own department which consisted only of her and her assistant, but nobody ever saw him in person, even though he was daily managing a lot of issues over phone in Mrs. Jones's name.

But i wasn't really paying attention to their work in goverment, i was still testing how far i can go with them. And after i read THE one book about travelling Nat had in his library (he got it as a gift, there was a dedication at the beginning, that boy clearly never thought there might be something interesting to see outside London, while i think there is nothing interesting in London) i made him order some more and they slowly started to hoard in my room. But after a little break in the Other place i was ready for a roadtrip.

In hindsight, I should have probably paid more attention to their work. They both had a long history of making powerful people discontent.

* * *

Kitty was sitting on the floor of the library among the pile of papers with her legs crossed, when she heard a knock and saw Nathaniel's head pop into the room. „Hi Kitty, how's it going?" She spoke distractedly. „Not great. Somehow my papers with speech for tomorrow disappeared, i must have left it in ministry or somewhere. So now i'm going through it again and trying to remember what i changed in it before. Could you look at i tas well? I didn't have time to read your notes you wrote to it yesterday. Sorry. What about you? How's that translation going, by the way?"

Nathaniel was already in the room standing next to Kitty, and took his time to look around on papers surrounding them, before he crouched down next to her. „I'm working on it but i almost have it, i'll give it to you tomorrow, i know how important it is for you. Right now i just wanted to take a little break." The boy that could be called a man if you looked at him from a distance, was just sitting there and looked at her hand. Just as her face, even her hand contained a small wrinkles. It's been a couple months, Kitty was stronger, but some things just won't change. He took her hand into his two hands and smiled at her.

Kitty was so startled she didn't even jerk, not even when he moved closer to her. „I think you should also take a break sometimes. We could go for a vacation somewhere. Didn't you want to go to Egypt?"

Kitty was completely off. She was looking at her hand in Nathaniel's hands and than at his face, at his hands and back to face. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING? But he continued. „There will be always a lot of work in London, but you already put in motion lot o fit, so you needn't stretch yourself. London is a big boy, he can take care of himself for a while even without you here. Besides, " Nathaniel came even closer, with her hand still in his „there is a lot to explore in Egypt, not just for our work."

There was something about his eyes when he was looking at her. What was it? Could it be...? Wait, was that a SMIRK?! Kitty freed her hand and hit me with her fist, so much that i lost balance and fell on the floor. Kitty quickly stood up. She was really mad, looking at me from above like that, even far stronger djinni would be scared, really.

„You're a dead spirit, Bartimaeus."

I had to laugh. Not the best of my ideas, if i may say. A voice approaching from behind the door saved me.

„I finished the translation of Apocryphs, Kitty, now you can read it whole and use it for your book. But about this passage here - ". Nathaniel stopped when he raised his head and saw me, in his form lying on the floor and Kitty standing with her fists clenched and little red. We were looking from one to the other, not saying a word. Nathaniel broke the silence as the first. By looking at me he probably just realized how ridiculous he looks everytime he falls on the floor.

„What happened while i wasn't here?"

I changed my form and suddenly there was an egyptian boy. I had to use this second coming of Nathaniel to retreat, that's the only way to survive the situation i got myself into. Funny, somehow it all seemed like a good idea before.

„I was asking myself the same question, henc e my Natty form, but i got the same answer you'll get: Nothing happened. Nothing EVER happens here." I stood up, carefully eyeing Kitty in case she decided to fulfill her threat. „But about what i was saying, i would really like to go to Egypt someday. It would be nice if you could summon me there to spare me the long journey, so just let me now when you'll book a flight. In the meantime, i'm just headding to travel around for a bit, so i came to say bye."

Kitty was still glaring at me. I guess my wide-not-forced-at-all smile didn't work miracles. At least Nathaniel seemed genuinely surprised. „You're leaving? You haven't been here for two weeks. How long will you be gone?"

„ Can't really say, just call me if you need anything. So in the mean time, you kids have fun." I saluted and opened the window. „ And don't burn down the house," i shouted as i jumped out and changed into a pigeon flying towards the world.

* * *

Nathaniel looked at Kitty with a big question mark written all over his face.

„Please don't ask." Carefully, so she wouldn't crumple any more papers, she came to Nathaniel and took the translation from him. „So what aboout the passage?"

Nathaniel gave her another paper. „Here you go, i wrote down some interpretative notes to it. But of course ask if something won't make sense."

„Thanks" with a smile she took papers from him and looked towards the window. „I should really talk to Bartimaeus because sometimes he's - " –

Kitty stopped talking abruptly and took a closer look at Nathaniel.

„Did you grow since yesterday?"

„What? N-no." He seemed offended, like a boy caught doing some mischief.

„You are taller, even taller than me now."

„I've always been this tall."

Kitty decided to roll with it. "Yeah, right."

The boy tried to quickly change the topic. „So how did it go with the education reform?"

„Actually quite well, the minister didn't oppose me as much as last time when i didn't agree with their propositions."

„Yes, they probably got used to us meddling in their work."

„That's not what we do."

„Well that's probably the nicest word they would use to describe it."

Kitty sit on the table and started flipping pages of Apocryphs. Nathaniel meanwhile looked at papers on the floor.

„Hey, what happened to my notes to your speech?"

„Oh, right, it wasn't you who i told. That's a new copy. I must have left the old one somewhere in ministry, although i was sure i left it with my other stuff and i took everything from there when i was leaving. I'm sorry but could you look at it one more time?"

Nathaniel looked worriedly at her. It could mean nothing but he had a bad feeling about it. He picked up papers from the floor and stood by the free part of the desk to write his former suggestions.

Kitty sighed and put the translation to the side. „If i didn't had to waste so much time argueing with people, my book about the Other place would already be finished and there would be no reason for me to have this speech in the first place. And when i annnounce publicly that we're working on eliminating summonings alltogether the remaining magicians will go even more crazy. I'm just not cut out for so many ridiculous people all the time wasting time with nonsense. Hopefully i won't kill anyone in front of all the witnesses."

„And here i thought you're a symbol of patience and people skills," Nathaniel grinned. „Maybe Bartimaues is right, a vacation would be a good idea." She glared at him. „You know what i think would be the best solution."

Boy stopped smilling. „I don't feel like telling the world i'm alive."

„But you would be so much better in whole this dealing with people. And i could finally spend more time on my research about the Other Place if i knew you would take care about communication with other ministries. It will be even worse now when Council agreed to your suggestion to financially support industry. Or you could change form and pretend you're somebody else. You could even pretend you're me."

Silence. Nathaniel stopped writing and looked at Kitty. It was kind of ironic how in those moments when he wanted to defend his humanity his eyes had something demonic in them. Although not enough to scare Kitty.

„But it's up to you, of course."

He didn't say anything to that and instead passed her the notes.

„Well, i'm going to look again at the speech and then just straight to bed because i'm already tired and if i won't get enough sleep i might really kill somebody. So good night." As she was passing by him she rested her hand on his shoulder for a second.

Nathaniel spoke when she was already at the door.

„One more thing, Kitty. Ii'll summon you some demon for tommorrow, so in the morning don't leave without stopping by."

„What? Why? Is it necessary?"

„Just in case. It's probably nothing, just a feeling. But let's not take risks. Good night."

As he was looking around the empty library he realized he forgot to tell Kitty her parents called during the day. But there will be better time for that. It took them this long to call, they can wait one more day.


End file.
